Posted by: angelnorman | October 17, 2007

Rest in peace, Granny H.

My heart is heavy. Tonight my great-grandmother went to live in Heaven with Jesus. Before he went to bed, I explained to Nick that she had passed, that she was now in Heaven. He just looked at me, wide-eyed. He kissed her picture when I asked if he wanted to, but he wouldn’t tell her bye. He just kep tlooking at her, trying to process it.

I hate death. I know she’s better off and that anyone who dies and goes to live with God is indeed in a better place, but I hate the permanence of her absence that we are now face with. I hate that in the end, all we’re left with are memories we can barely recall.

I wasn’t super close to her. I was always loving when I seen her, as was she when she seen me, but do you know that she loved my kid with all her heart? She barely knew him because I suck apparently and can’t bring myself to have a relationship with much of my dad’s family… but she loved Nick nonetheless. She kept a picture of him in almost every room of my grandparents’ house and she would always talk to Nick’s picture about the birds outside the living room window or she’d say goodnight to him when she’d go to bed for the night. She had a special connection to him.

And it makes me sad that he was never old enough to understand that loving her willingly would have made her day. If only once he would have run to her and thrown his arms around her, he would have been her ray of sunshine for so long. We always made him, and he always obliged. She took what she could get, and asked questions about him a lot because she cared so much about him.

I am sad… that it happened so fast… that it happened at all.

Ignore my drunken state in the last pic. I was totally sober, despite appearances.

Please pray for my grandmother. Losing a mother, especially when you’ve been caring for her for the past few years, can’t be easy.

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Responses

  1. Beautiful…we’re here for you in anyway..your family is very dear to us.

  2. I’m sorry, Angel. I am thinking about you!

  3. Oh darlin’ I’m so sorry for you and your grandmother! If there is ANYTHING Don and I can do just let us know. You and your family will be in our prayers. We love you!

  4. I’m so sorry! It’s seems like it’s just hard to make time for people some times, not that you don’t want to, there’s just always so much going on. That’s so sweet that she loved Nick that much! Ya’ll are in my thoughts. Take Care.

    Love,
    Charlene


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