Posted by: angelnorman | January 18, 2008

Tick, tick.

What’s that noise I hear? Could it be the tick-ticking of my biological clock telling me it’s time to have another go at TTC (trying to conceive)? Recently, as in the past 3 months, I’ve been wrestling with the urge to get on with growing my family. While on many days a part of me wants to say that Nicholas is enough, no more children for me but thanks for asking, there are so many more days where I look longingly through Nick’s baby pictures. Or stay way too long looking at baby clothes and goodies at the store. Or just feel the strong internal pull to get it on with my husband for more than just a good time.

There is always a lot of talk about biological clocks. In the 80s, the talk was aimed at career-driven women. I was a kid in the 80s, living with my single mom most of the time so I remember a little bit of this going on…. and it’s all over the movie from that period of time. In the 90s, it seemed to be a reminder to all the post 35-year olds that they didn’t have very much longer before menopause, so they’d better hurry and find a way to balance that career and 2.5 children they already had if they wanted to have another child. But now the talk seems to be more cliche, mostly because we have 50 and 60 year old women still having children. So I never really think about a biological clock anymore, and there have been times when I have even wondered if it was even a real thing. Har, har. Good one, I’d say when folks would remind me of how much older my eggs were growing.

But with the way my abdomen always physically feels, and the sense of longing for another child that I feel emotionally, I’m beginning to wonder if there’s something to this biological clock thing. What if my body really is trying to tell me to get on with it already?

My husband says that it’s just because I want a kid who will love me, as our current child has been doing many things lately to make me question whether or not he hates me. (He’s kinda torturous about it, really.) Last night though we watched a video of Nicholas laughing at about 6 months, and we were both smiling and laughing along with it…. and Mike says to me, “Yeah, okay. I am ready, too.”

I just need to hear my doctor say, “You know, you aren’t diabetic after all.” If she would just call me with these stupid test results, I would feel much better about conceiving and I may even attack my husband as soon as he walks in the door. I just cannot be even borderline diabetic and run the risk of conceiving and having to be put on bed rest for having a high-risk pregnancy or something. So I just need to get some things under control first and then I can attempt it. I bet, with my medical issues, I may even be able to get some fertility help, like medicinally I mean. And then I can end up having triplets or something… and be 350 lbs! Okay. Scary. I’m talking myself out of this now. 🙂

 In random news though, my horoscope today says: The outcome of your new project is still uncertain, but you should think positively. I don’t believe in horoscopes, but I can’t really turn down the advice to remain positive, despite who its from. That’s what I’m always preachin’ after all– the importance of thinking positively, even if it’s hard to practice. So that’s my plan. Remain positive. Wait for the doc’s answers/advice. Hump husband. Have kid. It really should be that simple. 

Maybe my next knitting projects may be baby booties and matching caps, bottle cozies, and warm blankets.

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Responses

  1. […] the other foot. It was three years ago this month that we started trying to have our second child. Two years ago that I started taking […]


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