Posted by: angelnorman | February 29, 2008

Must… rest…

I am a terrible, selfish person.

My kid has been sick for three days now. Three days of a stuffy nose that is finally starting to really run. Three days of a fever that goes up and down. Three days of coughing that is getting progressively, how shall I put this, more phlegmy. Three days of lethargy when the fever is high and excitability when the fever is low. Three days of crying for milk and me having to force juice upon him so as not to make him throw-up. Or cries of, “Mommmmmmeeeee! I need a tissue, my nose is running out!” while I’m trying to bathe that leads to me running to him from across the house, naked and dripping with water, with a box of tissue to find that he already has a box RIGHT BESIDE HIM. And three whole days of massive irritability that is sometimes hard to overlook, especially when he’s biting my head off for not bringing his toys/tissue/blankets fast enough, or getting the movie to play quick enough, or not keeping the milk in his sippy cup (which he demands to hold at all times) fresh and cold.

And all I can think is, Man, I’m tired.

But in my defense, I am. I haven’t slept a full night since vacation it seems, since we’ve been back in our house with a toddler down the hall. If he’s not crawling into bed with me because he misses me, then he’s crawling into bed with me because he’s got a fever and he needs some of Mama’s comfort. Now I wouldn’t trade my life for any other, but if someone said that they would take Nick for me for a day so that I can get some sleep, I might consider it. Heh.

I am just worn down I guess. And I have been so worried about Nick’s fever being so high that it’s kept me from relaxing at all these past few days. I told one of the girls in my playgroup that maybe we’re just lucky but that Nick is rarely sick at all, and especially not this badly. We’ve never had a fever so high. Ever. So I’ve been a little trapped inside my head I guess with thoughts of all these horrible viruses and disease- strep, influenza, pneumonia, roseola- and worried that his high fever could lead to a seizure or something. And omg, what would I do if he had a seizure in his sleep and I didn’t know it?!

So you see, this is where my mind has been wandering off to these past few days. It’s definitely not been at a place of rest, respite, and pleasant dreams. That on top of the constant need to be “on”, to be ready to drop everything and tend to his running nose whenever he starts crying about it (because snot running towards his mouth makes him shudder, gag, and whine simulatenously) is really just wearing me out. What I need is a Mom’s Night Out, a date with myself to just go see or do something that doesn’t involve Wubbzy Wow Wow and multiple boxes of tissue.

But then that would require Michael to be on board with helping me out. I think we all know what I’m hinting at here.

This morning though, I was apparently speaking to Nicholas in a gruff sort of way (maybe because I had to get up 9,451 times last night) and Michael was quick to get on to me for it. Right, because he’s never ever spoken to Nick that way. He adds, “Remember Angel that he is sick. Gah.”

I was just about to knock him out when Nick finally quietened down and I saw a rare opportunity to maybe lie with him and sleep peacefully. Suddenly, knocking Michael’s head off didn’t seem so important. We slept for a few hours together, and that was nice. I really shouldn’t be so focused on ME this time, but I just can’t help how overwhelmed I am today by the sick kid, the whining of the sick kid, and the housework that needs to be done before my FIL, who has expressed concern about my housekeeping- or lack thereof- in the past, comes to help us lay our kitchen floor and fix our door jamb tomorrow.

But I’m not looking forward to the craziness that we are sure to get when we mix taking care of a sick boy and this DIY weekend we have planned. Meh.

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Responses

  1. I hope you guys get some good rest and a lot done this weekend. The Hokanson house isn’t feeling well now. Just ask Shea. Jenson welcomed her with a vomit-fest this morning as soon as she opened the door. Kenny and I have upset bellies, too, and Kendan has had a little fever off and on this week and won’t eat his cereal too much.

    But, in saying this…don’t beat yourself up. It takes so much out of us when our kids are sick…even if we aren’t sick with them. I know it’s hard. I think that the frustration (subconsciously) is because we maybe don’t know what caused their sickness or we don’t know how to make them better. That was me this morning..I didn’t know why Jenson got sick.

    RUNNING IT’S COURSE SUCKS. I love you..call if you need anything next week…(hint: our car. 🙂


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