Posted by: angelnorman | April 21, 2008

I want a baby.

I may be the only person in the world who does this, but everytime I catch wind of Nicholas growing up– every single time it sinks in and I really think about my sweet boy getting so much more independent and so much more intelligent than I normally give him credit for– I need to have another baby. That’s right, I said it. Whenever I think about my kid growing up, I long to have a baby so that I can have someone who depends on me still for everything. It’s sad, but it’s my reality. Ha.

When I realized I was no longer shopping for Nick in the baby section of Carter’s and was instead in the biggers boys’ section, I wanted another baby. When I realized that Nick barely even needed my help with meal preparation, I wanted another baby. (Have you ever had his creamed potatoes? Seriously, they’re more lump-free than mine. I’ve always said that he is an old chef in a little body.) When I realized he didn’t fit into his stroller yesterday, I wanted another baby. It’s a sad cycle of wanting to hold on to that time in my life when my kid actually loved me.

I’m kidding. Of course he loves me. And he proves it regularly by throwing temper tantrums and slapping me in the face.

What it really is may be a reluctance to accept that his firsts and lasts are flying by me every single day. What it boils down to is that I struggle to think that I may have let some of those moments get by me without really appreciating them for what they were: gifts from God Himself.

Karen Kingsberry (oh my goodness, Mom, isn’t that weird?) has a children’s book that I once read at Barnes and Noble while Nicholas played in the same aisle called Let Me Hold You Longer, and it’s a really brilliant book that had me sobbing in the aisle like a crazed person. While most of us spend our years as parents celebrating our baby’s milestones, Karen urges her readers to think about the lasts– the last time they ask to be rocked, the last time they ask for your help in tying their shoes, the last time they ask you to play football with them, etc– and to really celebrate those moments too so that we miss nothing. Oh, it’s a wonderful book. You should read it.

But it has me thinking about Nick… I don’t remember the last time he actually fit in the stroller. And I don’t remember the last time he asked to be rocked. I wish that I did. Of course I remember plenty of things that we could never forget– like ER trips, all the birthday parties we’ve ever attended, the first time I realized that Nick had inherited my love of cake, the many nights where Mike would come home from work and we’d give Nick fun things like spaghetti and watch him get so messy that the situation HAD to end in a bath– and we’d find noodles in his hair and tomato sauce in his ear!

And on that note, Mike and I decided to try again over the weekend. That’s right. I’m a woman on a mission.

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Responses

  1. Goodluck! Maybe you’ll have one before you know it! Sending positive fertility vibes your way!

  2. Thanks.

  3. Umm I don’t know how to do this! Is there a way to reply to the comment you left me? Well I am replying to it! That gym I take Kinley to is with another group (SHHH) and I think they just let our group come in. It is at Let it Shine gym in Franklin. They are super nice and if it wasn’t so far I would take Kinley to gymnastics there. You can come as my friend next time our group goes if you want. The kids LOVE it!

  4. LOL! I spelled my own name wrong!!!!

  5. LOL. I love the way you spell your name now, Luindsay. It’s very exotic. 😉

    Please let me know when you go again and we’d love to accompany you if it doesn’t get you in trouble with your other group. 😀 It looks like a very cool place… I’m sure it’s worth the drive for a visit every now and then.

  6. I am crying tears of joy another granbaby that would be AWESOME!!!!!!!! Nicholas can come and live with me LOL!!!!!! JK

    Tell him I love him so very much and I am going to kiss all of his wittle face.

    G

  7. i know…coen now correctly says ditches instead of bitches and it breaks my heart everytime he says it

  8. Moma: Are you sure you’re going to be able to babysit for me still if I have another? Aren’t you always saying that you couldn’t handle any more?! HAHAH! 😉

    Shea: I’m glad I’m not alone. Maybe you should try too. 😛 J/K!


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