Posted by: angelnorman | June 9, 2008

Mom-minded.

Twenty till two and for some strange reason, I’m still up. At about 9-ish tonight, I was so out of it that I almost passed out on the couch. I should have taken the opportunity to sleep then and there based on this hint from my body. But, alas, I did not sleep then and for whatever reason I got this crazy second wind and here I am with my sleepytime tea and a blog for your reading pleasure.

Except right now, the only thing I can think to blog about is how I have been consistently thinking of getting Nick involved in some things this summer and fall to get him out of the house and such. It is seriously all I’ve thought about since Mike got his offer letter on that work-from-home gig he’s landed. It’s not that I want to get my kid out of my hair for a few hours, although, let’s face it, that’s a major plus. I envision laundry being done and workouts being enjoyed and coffee being sipped all morning without interruption! But really, the real reason it’s on my mind is that I know we’re going to HAVE to get out of the house so that Mike can work in peace, and I’m just so darn picky about where I send him and what I involve him in that I can’t help but overthink it.

I don’t want to be one of those moms who shoves her kid into every activity simply because it’s there, but I do want him to experience things that he may never know much about unless he is forced into trying them. In my eyes, that’s a fine line to walk. All I know is that for the first time since Nick has been born, he and I will have access to a car all day long every single day, without a single care in the world. He and I have never had that, not even when we’ve borrowed a car because there’s always the deadline of when you must return the car looming in the distance…. so we don’t know what it’s like to wake up one random morning and just go somewhere for the heck of it. And if we choose not to do it on one particular day, we have the rest of our lives to fit it in and we don’t have to worry about making it to Avis by 5 pm! (Ha. Little inside joke there based upon our great love of renting cars these days. It is truly an expensive necessity.)

I think I’d just like for him to get some sort of routine that has him getting out of the house twice a week like he’ll be doing in the fall when we start MDO at the church. And I’d like to spend this summer with him as much as possible, so I don’t want any sort of drop-off places just yet. I’d been thinking about Gymboree, but no one I know has ever done it and I’m afraid it wouldn’t be worth my money– $95 a month and there’s a hefty registration fee to boot. So over $200 for two months of weekly classes? Not sure it’s worth that at all. Then I was thinking maybe we’d just take advantage of the 2-hr toddler times they have at the zoo or the Discovery Center or something to which we have or could have a membership, just sort of making my own routine.

The only problem of course is that I’m not at all disciplined enough to have a plan and stick to it!

I asked him what he wanted to do, and of course, he wants no part of anything and he especially doesn’t want to discuss it with me. Then I asked him if he wanted to do swimming lessons at the very least and he immediately lit up and proclaimed, “And you get in my pool with me and I will splash you in the face!” He was certain I meant that I’d cleaned out his pool from last year and we were going swimming right then and there, but he was majorly mistaken. Besides, his pool has a hole in it. When I clarified that I meant for him to learn to swim at the Y, he shrunk back and said he most certainly did not want to go to the Y. He’s still angry that I choose to put him in the free childcare there while I workout for 30 minutes , so any talk of the Y must immediately cease.

On Caillou, Leo’s mother is always dropping Leo at Calliou’s house for a playdate. She never stays. She gets the afternoon off. How lucky is she? Where can I find a friend who expects nothing in return to use like that hook me up with an afternoon off each week?

In all seriousness though, this is a big deal to me. I mean, I’m not sure I’m really going to like my kid being old enough to go to school, not even twice a week! Where has all my time gone? I hope that I don’t look back one day and think, “Man I wasted so much time when Nick was a toddler! I could have done so much more if only I wouldn’t have been so ill prepared!” or so lazy or whatever it may be. I mean, I already have to think of how many playdates I’ve had to skip because of transportation issues and how many mornings I’ve had to say, “About that whole going to the park thing I promised you… Um, mommy was very tired and didn’t take Daddy to work this morning. So we don’t have a car to go to the park. How about we watch Franklin instead?” I feel bad about those things, like I should be better about giving him ample opportunity to get out there and you know, live. To actually feel the sun shining on his skin in some place other than his yard, you know? It’s hard to explain to anyone who’s not been there. And I guess I will probably look back and feel guilty about things regardless of how I’ve done them because I’m a mom and therefore prone to guilt and in many cases, regret. Still, I’m excited for this life change for Nick and I. I’m excited to spend time with him and do new things that influence how he learns and grows!

I just can’t believe that he’s pushing 4. Man. In just 5 little months, we’ll be blowing out our candles!

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Responses

  1. I think the same things. I think where has the last 4 years gone? Abby has spent so much time in daycare, I wish I would have been able to stay home with her more or just take off a day to take her somewhere, like the reading group at the library and stuff like that. The only time I take off is when one of us are sick and then we really can’t do anything those days. It’s crazy how quickly time flies, and you look back and say I wish I could have done things a little different, I think that is def. a Mom thing because we love our kids so much and want so much for them. Have a good day! & congrats on getting use of the car everyday now! That’s gotta be huge! I couldn’t imagine being at the house and not having a car.


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