Posted by: angelnorman | October 21, 2008

Broccoli Wokly anyone?

Last Thursday, I walked up to Nicholas’s classroom and saw that there was a sign-up sheet for party goodies in the place where typically they keep the board for us to read what our kids have done that day. A whole list of things needed for the Fall Hoedown on the 23rd was displayed, and all but two things had been claimed by the time I got there at 1:50 pm last week. (C’mon, people, you’re not supposed to pick your kids up till 2! It’s not a race.) My choices were sausage balls, which I made once upon a time but still really can’t remember how I made them, or something called Broccoli Wokly. I wasn’t even sure what that was. Not wanting to look like a dummy by asking Ms. S or her helper what the heck Broccoli Wokly was or where to get it, I signed myself up for sausage balls knowing that a simple search on Google would give me plenty of help with this task.

This morning, Nicholas was one of the first kids to get to his class. Only one child and his father managed to get in before us, actually. Standing behind the dad who was signing his kid in, I noticed that there was still a blank beside the Broccoli Wokly on the hoedown-essentials list. At the same time, that dad must have realized that he hadn’t signed up for it, because he goes, “Huh… I guess I’m bringing the Broccoli Wokly.”

To hear him say this aloud made me shake with laughter. I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I was trying to hold it in, but he turned to me and was like, “What is Broccoli Wokly?”  

I had to ‘fess up. “I have no idea. And actually, I was the one who signed up before you. I took sausage balls because I wasn’t sure what Broccoli Wokly meant. So I stuck you with the Broccoli Wokly, and I’m sorry.”

He chuckled and then stood there for a few extra seconds than necessary, as if trying to figure out what he should do. Finally he poked his head into the class and asked Ms. R, “What’s Broccoli Wokly?”

Ms. R kindly replied, “It’s just pieces of broccoli, already cut up and ready to eat.”

The dad then asks, “And you want it raw?” Ms. R looked at him like, “Seriously, you think I want you to cook broccoli– plain broccoli– and bring it to a hoedown?” but instead she just nodded and said that yes, she wanted it raw.

On the inside, I was dying. Needed to laugh. Couldn’t make this poor guy feel dumb by laughing at his plight, especially since 1) I put this burden on him and 2) all because I didn’t know what the heck broccoli wokly was.

I mean, seriously, it sounds like a pet name for it or something. Broccoli-wokly and Carrots-werrits. I understand it’s for the cooking in a wok, as in for Asian food; I see why it’s a clever name now. I just love that I wasn’t the only one who was clueless about it. Why not just ask for raw broccoli, chopped? And isn’t it funny that I was all worried about looking dumb but this guy, he didn’t care at all and look! Now he’s the lucky one who gets to buy something premade and I have to slave over a hot stove all because I was too ashamed to admit that I had no idea what Broccoli Wokly might be.

That serves me wight. I mean right.



  1. hilarious. i thought it was going be to be like some sort of kid-friendly broccoli casserole or something, I can’t believe its just raw broccoli!

  2. i know, right? i love those moments when you realize that you were not the only one to go, “WTF?!”, whether silently and to yourself or aloud for the whole hallway to hear 🙂 hearing a grown man say that, though, out loud… well that was just priceless. i am sure that there are funnier things in this world, but at that moment, i was hard pressed to think of anything.

  3. Or it could be labeled “Crudite… just broccoli.”
    That is gay and lame. In a gay and lame sorta way.

  4. TOTALLY. I’m glad you feel me.

    I’m pretty sure crudite would have been lost on some of the people in our class, though. I still don’t see why asking for raw broccoli would have been bad… but maybe they can’t chop it there and knowing people, they would have shown up I’m sur ewith whole stalks of broccoli… It wouldn’t have been pretty or easily edible.

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