Posted by: angelnorman | November 25, 2008

Coming back to center.

The fog is clearing and I’m beginning to feel like my jovial self again. I had a bit of an issue with fighting off the funk this morning as I ran my errands, but I refused to let that (unfortunately) familiar feeling of what my friend Ashlee so wonderfully described as “turbulence” in her comment on the last post get to me. I refused to give in because today, I was having a Thanksgiving luncheon with my sweet boy at his school. I refused to let anything steal the joy away from me and that moment.

And as soon as I came in, found our table with Nick’s artwork, and sat down to wait for my son to be dismissed from his class, all of that nasty stuff went away. He walked through the tables, looking all around him at the decorated lunch tables and probably wondering what was going on, and he didn’t even notice me sitting there until I called out to him. Once our eyes connected, he smiled so big and said, “What are you doing here?” And I laughed and reminded him that today was our special lunch day.

He was so well-behaved, and the lunch was just so special. I have surely eaten many a meal with my son, but never one with him on HIS turf, a place that was foreign to me but familiar to him. I can well remember my mother coming to have lunch with me at school many times, and I guess I never thought about myself in that position with a child of my own. I don’t know, I just really enjoyed it. There was something truly special about it, though I couldn’t put my finger on what made it feel so sentimental to me. Seriously, I could’ve cried like 4 times easily.

I have lots of pics to share today. Here are some of the many things that have helped boost my mood these past few days, some things that I can’t resist being so thankful for that I have to blog it. Thanks to everyone who has tried to talk to me about my funk, and for all the blog comments you’ve left reassuring me or offering up warm thoughts. It’s appreciated! I’m so thankful that I have you all in my life.

* Our Thanksgiving luncheon place setting– Nick’s cornucopia of blessings.

*Mommy, Daddy, and Roscoe. How sweet of him to say that! (Several of us parents though think maybe the teachers had to suggest the “mommy” and “daddy” part, ha)

*Swee tlittle handprint turkey.

*Turkey decor is always so cute to me.

*Thanks to Mrs. S for taking our pic.

*New eyeshadow, which was a birthday gift. Don’t say nothin’ about how I need a plucking. I know! I just don’t care enough to do it myself.

*My newest Christmas tree ornament 😀

*The only nativity I am displaying right now, AKA the reason for the season.

*Sweet sentiments from friends.

*Wooly, wintery socks. My favorite pair, actually.

* Snuggly dogs that always disobey me… but that are too cute to yell at.

* Decor Nicholas enjoys as much as I do.

The point I’m trying to make about these little surprises, these little mood boosters, these happy things that have brightened my day/week/month, is that I am one lucky girl. I received an email last night from my Uncle Bubba, the one who was recently diagnosed with cancer, and he said something that struck me… he said, “Over the years, I have come to believe that I am probably one of the most blessed people walking this earth.”

It really hit home with me, because ever since I’ve been in this state of turbulence– this state of depression and anxiety and awkward clumsiness and having no ability to focus or concentrate on anything– ever since that’s been my norm, I’ve missed the point entirely of this month of gratitude. Iset out at the beginning of November with every intention of focusing on my bounty for an entire month, and not just on Thanksgiving day. But somewhere along the way, I’ve let this “funk” cloud my judgment and clog up my ability to derive joy from things. Well, no. I have experienced joy, but it’s been incredibly overshadowed by all the not so joyous stuff.

I’ve failed to remember that no matter how crappy it gets, no matter how chaotic, I am ultimately one of the most blessed people I know. My sweet little uncle can see that about himself, and he’s faced with a life-threatening illness. Me? I am mostly healthy; mostly happy; I have warm clothes; good food; money in the bank to pay the bills and then to blow on ridiculous items like an entire Wii system; a husband who loves me; a child who thinks I’m awesome and capable of all things;  ILs who tolerate and love me despite the fact that I put my family first (well, I do, and it’s totally not fair, I know); a house that is cute and although not as clean as I’d like, comfortable; family at my fingertips whenever I need them; friends who are willing to not only put up with my bad attitudes, but to reach out to me to let me know that I am loved. And that doesn’t even cover half of how incredibly fortunate I am.

I couldn’t get any luckier, really. Though I often feel like I’m cursed, like the whole world is surely out to get me, that my life is too small and inconsequential to matter in the grand scheme of things, I am truly, without a doubt, blessed.

And I bet, if you think about it long enough, so are you. I hope you carry that with you the rest of this week. I hope you hear it ringing out every time you take a bite, every time you hear your family- especially your children- laugh, every time you feel satisfied, every time someone hugs you, and every time you take a moment to reflect and pray. I hope you remember how loved you are too, and that your holiday funk doesn’t steal your joy, not even for a second.

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Responses

  1. love you

  2. Wow! I have a ton to say…as usual.

    -I love the ornament..it’s perfect!
    -Nick’s Construction Paper Ring Turkey rules!!!
    -So, Michael is “grapes”?
    -My note totally sounded “rap”. I HOPES YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY YO.” PROPS TO YOUR MOTHER. WORD.
    -Emily’s handwriting rocks.
    – When the boys saw Alex, one yelled “awe..it’s OWEX.” and Kendan (is learning animals sounds) and yelled “RUFF” in his man voice.
    -Ofcourse…great writing on your part. So inspiring…this week does have lots to be thankful for.
    LOVE YOU! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

  3. Shea: I love you too, and I am so sorry you’re so under the weather lately. I feel like I can’t say this enough to you; get well soon. Also, enjoy your turkey day! I read that you were cooking a turkey! I’ve never made one.. I’d be scared, haha. You can do it though! I have faith in you 🙂

    Jen: I will comment on it all, also as usual, Ha.
    – I know, right? My sister bought one to match. Right now, Cracker Barrel has all their ornaments for 40% off… so it was only like $1 or so! I love it!
    -Actually, I believe Mrs. S and Mrs. R made those, because Nick was like, “Whose is this? Did you make it?” Normally he remembers everything he creates because he creates so little, lol. It was filled with candy corn though, so I enjoyed it no matter who made it.
    – Yes. Hah.
    – I laughed when I saw “hopes” actually. I didn’t notice it though until I uploaded the pic… If I’d have seen it sooner, I could have edited it with PS. But I thought it was cute, so I left it.
    – It totally does. I’ve always thought she should make a font called “Emily Script”, I’d use it often.
    – That’s sweet! I love how cuddly Alex was looking today, except I sat down beside him and then he got up… jerk. He was so not as cuddly as I would have imagined!
    -Well thank you. We sure do have lots to be thankful for, I agree. I’ve been really enjoying your blogs on thankfulness too!

    Love you back, and happy thanksgiving. I hope we can see one another for the ON sale tomorrow if nothing else! ❤

  4. Angel don’t forget to call the pottery place and then give me a ring afterwards.

    Love you,


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