Posted by: angelnorman | April 7, 2009

Sometimes, it’s really hard for me to remember to breathe.

It’s quite the challenge this week for me to be the loving housekeeper, mother, and wife I am without seething. I am a ball of rage and angst. Despite the fact that we are (mostly) all healthy again thus I should be thankful, I have found myself to be less than grateful this morning as I tackle the laundry that has piled up from the previous two weeks. Also? Laundry isn’t the only thing that didn’t get done last week. There are bills to pay, errands to run, toilets and tubs and sinks and floors. I am completely and utterly frustrated with my to-do list and any who threaten to destroy that which I have thus accomplished; only I’ve noticed that I’m being a little bit ridiculous as was evident by the whirlwind of fury I released on Mike when I caught my him going potty in the bathroom I’d just cleaned.

What can I say? I took this as a direct threat. Oh, such insensitivity! The nerve of that guy!

It was the one room in the house that was completely clean, top to bottom. Every surface scrubbed, every handle disinfected. Le sigh.

I fully blame this on my Sunday night. It has set the tone for the entire week, I’m sure of it. I had to do all the grocery shopping with Nick in tow, which meant having to chase him through the store, barking at him to stay! with! me! If that wasn’t enough of a headache, I came out of the store an hour later (seriously Kroger, one checkout line?!) only to find that it was raining and I had no umbrella. Grrreat. After fashioning a plastic bag hat for Nick (not the safest thing ever, I know), I ran to the car as fast as I could go in my flipflops, feet and pants getting completely soaked in the process. I put Nick in the car and told him to buckle up, then proceeded to unload the groceries into the trunk. Sadly, there wasn’t enough room because we still have our stroller in the trunk from our last zoo trip. Fantastic! I went back to the passenger side to put some groceries in and Nick is in the backseat still unbuckled and complaining about the tiny bit of rain that is coming in because of me. Meanwhile, I’m getting what feels like whole buckets of water thrown on me but yeah, sure I’ll apologize to you for the drizzle you must feel on your hands. Buckle up, I scolded and then I walked as slowly as I could to take the shopping cart back. I mean, hello! It was the only peace I had that entire day and I wasn’t about to let a little rain stop me from enjoying it. Besides, I was already soaked.

Speaking of groceries though (and getting back to my point), I bought all these good breakfast choices for Nick and made a point to discuss with Michael how I no longer wanted Nicholas to east junk food for breakfast. I am feeling really guilty about the lack of fruits and veggies in his diet; I love fruits and veggies so much that I constantly toy with the idea of becoming completely vegetarian. Also, one of my biggest fears is that Nicholas will grow up with an unhealthy ‘tude toward food. I fear he is becoming like Mike- reliant on carbs. So I buy all this fruit, most of which Nick picked out on his own, and guess what? This morning, Mike fed him Pop Tarts. Chocolate ones. Nice.

So see, I think this all comes down to me being frustrated that so much relies on me. It’s “If you want something done right, do it yourself” come to life, only I don’t want to do it all myself! I want help.

Dear husband and child, please get a clue. You guys know this is my love language and by not helping me out more, you’re really just saying “I don’t love you.” I hope you’re able to sleep peacefully tonight knowing that you are basically telling me you could care less about me, your loving wife and mother… the woman who cooks for you, cleans for you, and makes sure you have clean and wrinkle free clothes to wear.



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