Posted by: angelnorman | April 13, 2009

For you.

 

I’ve been thinking about you an awful lot lately.

Perhaps it’s because I’ve seen so many of those little yellow butterflies like the one that fluttered around us when we buried you that makes me think of you so much in the spring and summer; maybe it’s just that I went to Easter at Jerry and Judy’s this weekend for the first time since… well since that one Easter in 2004 when I walked into the room and you couldn’t figure out who I was. It was the last time I saw you before you were hospitalized. The last time when things were normal, when we got a chance to spend some one on one time having a conversation. I remember when you finally looked over at me and said, “Where’s Mike?” and I knew you knew me, I knew you remembered and that you were aware that you were talking to your Angel.

I don’t know why, all I know is I’m thinking of you.

The fact that Moma bought Nicholas a bunny from Cracker Barrel that sings “Bushel and a Peck” doesn’t help much. Originally, the bunny was supposed to stay at Moma’s house because we lack the storage for stuffed animals in our own tiny house. But I’m glad he insisted on bringing it home because now we snuggle up on the couch with it at every “snuggle buggle time” and we sing “Bushel and Peck”, and I think of you. I tell him about you. He calls you “the one we took the scarecrow to” because of our visit to your gravesite last September. Oh, Granny. You would love Nicholas. You’d love to hear him sing along to that silly Bunny, to hear him saying “A bush and peck, bush and peck and a hug for you” (which is not even what the song says, but that’s okay because he has the sweetest voice in the world.)

I remember you singing that all the time. Sometimes you wouldn’t even sing it; I’d hug you and you’d whisper to me that you loved me a bushel and peck and a hug around the neck. I sort of wish the last thing you would have said to me before you passed was that. Or I wish it was the last thing I said to you. “See you tomorrow, Granny.. And I love you a bushel and a peck!” The weird thing is that sometimes I forget things about other people who’ve passed away, but I forget nothing about you. I can easily recall the feeling and the smell of your hair, the soft skin of your wrinkled hands, the exact way your house looked, what your pot roast and your chocolate pie tasted like, the way your breath always smelled of coffee, the sound of your voice, the way you could say something insulting like “You need to brush your hair” that would never, ever offend me because I always knew that everything you said to me was out of love. And I can hear your voice as clear as day singing “Bushel and a Peck” to me now, out of love. A love I miss so much these days when I feel so alone. I think the older I get, the harder it is for me to do without you. I wish so much that I could just call you and talk to you right now. I’d give anything to just have that one last conversation, well at least our last convo until I see you again in Heaven. 🙂

So because I can’t get you off my mind… this one’s for you, Granny.

I love you a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck
A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap
A barrel and a heap and I’m talkin’ in my sleep
About you, about you
‘Cause I love you a bushel and a peck
You bet your purdy neck I do

A doodle-oodle-ooh-doo
A-doodle-oodle-oodle-ooh-doo

I love you a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck though you make my heart a wreck
Make my heart a wreck and you make my life a mess
Make my life a mess, yes a mess of happiness
About you, about you
‘Cause I love you a bushel and a peck
You bet your purdy neck I do

A doodle-oodle-ooh-doo
A-doodle-oodle-oodle-ooh-doo

I love you a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck and it beats me all to heck
It beats me all to heck, how I’ll ever tend the farm
Ever tend the farm when I wanna keep my arm
About you, about you
‘Cause I love you a bushel and a peck
You bet your purdy neck I do

A doodle-oodle-ooh-doo
A-doodle-oodle-oodle-ooh-doo
A-doodle-oodle-oodle-ooh-doo
A-doodle-oodle-ooh-doo-doo

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Responses

  1. that was one of the first pictures i ever saw of you when we ‘met’ on myspace and I remember thinking how pretty I thought you were. I love this picture! and granny. and doris day.

  2. I agree with Emily. That is a very beautiful picture of you. This sounds way concieted..but It looks like me. Not the beautiful part necessarily. But, I have a picture of that same type smile and same pink shirt!!!

    Wow..reading that back is crazy.

    I’m so glad you got that Bunny with the special song.

  3. I love the pic! you can see the love both of you have for each other in it! That song bushel & a peck, reminds me of my mom, she use to tell me that and I now tell Abby that, though I didn’t realize it was a real song! lol. So sweet, sometimes you just have people on your mind, maybe she’s thinking of you in heaven and that’s why she’s on your mind. Take care! PS glad you brought the bunny home!

  4. ugh again i cry! i miss granny too. and i can also remember all of those things about her. i use to play with the wrinkles on her hands, lol.


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