Posted by: angelnorman | May 4, 2009

Extraordinary maybe.

I dislike not being able to sleep. I wish I could blame it on something cool like insomnia or something– you know, a disease that would somehow make it not my fault that I’m up and at ’em, blogging at 3am on Monday morning, 7 short hours from a Target/lunch date with some friends. I wish I were the victim in this situation, but alas! I am pretty sure I’m awake now because of my own choices regarding that 5-hour nap I took today. Jen took my kid for the afternoon, which was perfect for that Sunday afternoon nap, and before I knew what had happened, I was rolling out of bed at 8 pm. Nice.

I blame my new pillow! I went out and purchased a snazzy new pillow for side-sleeping because I am NEVER comfortable enough to sleep in one position at night and I always wake up with nasty neck cramps, which always worsen throughout the day. I’m a pretty tense gal naturally unfortunately- tensing my neck muscles is pretty much my first natural reaction to stress, laundry, housework, husbands, and children- so the last thing I need is to start off on the wrong foot even if I’m bound to still end up with neck pain. This pillow, though it feels like it will swallow my face, is pretty dang amazing. It cost me $23. I wish I were kidding, because I think that is an incredible rip-off for a pillow. (Why are pillows so expensive?! There were some like $80 ones. I will never ever pay that much for something to drool on.)

Tonight I was in the mood for another good movie (saw Wolverine on Friday– loved it!), so I watched Marley & Me, against all rumors I’ve heard that it was a tear-jerker and that it could not be watched without a box of tissues. So much of it was a little slow to me, but then, what felt like all the sudden, I was bawling my eyes out and hugging Roscoe as much as he would let me. (I only pet Alex because hugging him is impossible without getting licked all over, and sometimes inside, the mouth.) I felt renewed after watching it, because it is so well done, and so spot-on with life. There were many parallels to be made to my own life; I identified with almost every character, well except for Sebastian. It was just such a joy to watch, even during the painful parts. I certainly didn’t regret my choice to rent it, even though I cried for almost an hour afterward.

You know… I’ve done a lot of critiquing of my little life lately, and I feel I haven’t always been that fair to my family and my life. Sure, on my blog I am always reassuring you, my readers (all 3 of you), that I know I’ve got it pretty great, that my family is darn near perfect, and that I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s true. I don’t lie to you when I say that! I really do mean it. I think though that more often than not that on the inside, I am overwhelmed so much with how I want things to be that I do a poor job of being thankful for how things are. It’s so evident to me that I struggle with staying in the moment. I’d make a terrible Buddhist for this reason. That, and the fact that I believe in Jesus as my Savior would pretty much make me the worst Buddhist ever.

Things in my life are beautiful. Let me shout it from the rooftops! Even though it feels like we’re not moving forward except in age (which is proven with the increasing amount of gray hairs we’re finding on a daily basis) sometimes, our routines and the way we work together as a team, as one unit, is just remarkable to me. I’m sure from the outside looking in, we’re just a normal family. From the outside I’m just a boring housewife. There’s nothing impressive about me maybe to some. I don’t volunteer or work or even clean my house on most days, I’ll give ya that. I’m not “crunchy” (hate that term anyways) and I don’t practice any alternative lifestyle that would make me look hipper or trendy. Even my clothes are plain! My husband works hard at what he does, but he doesn’t take many career chances and he doesn’t have many interesting hobbies that cause people to look at him as extraordinary. He is just now, at almost 32 years old, getting his bachelor’s degree and he’s always at home. My kid is just a normal kid to you maybe, just another four year old who says crazy things and does silly stuff. He eats a lot of junk food and he doesn’t know how to read or write or count to 10 without skipping a few numbers or even say his ABCs in their entirety. My dogs are just overweight chihuahuas who pee on my carpet and do nothing extraordinary. And my house is just small and plain and boxy, and it isn’t very noteworthy.

To you.

But the love we share, the way it works, the bonds we have to one another, the way Nicholas can tell me all about the American flag, or Roscoe giving me fives with his little paw, or Alex making me feel like I am loved even when I’ve neglected to walk him, or the way my husband can always make me laugh, the way I am the glue of this family and the thing that keeps it all going, the home and the life we’ve built- all those things are beautiful and extraordinary to me, especially right now at this moment. I think if nothing else, Marley & Me helped me to really be aware of that tonight, of the beauty that is my family and my life, right here and now. Just the way it is, made complete of course because of two great (and somewhat fattened) chihuahuas who love us unconditionally.

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