Posted by: angelnorman | May 5, 2009

this post is probably more than you’ll want to know about me.

Last week, I was feeling a little bit… crampy.

In addition to the stomach issues, the constipation, and the wonderful mood swings (it’s good to be me), I was uncomfortable in my baby-making area. It was as though I could feel my ovaries working, if that makes sense. It wasn’t just a normal cramp, and it wasn’t just gas or something. It was more of a funny feeling of movement, of muscles contracting and doing odd things. This last Saturday was the day to begin the process of trying for Baby #2, if you catch my drift, and it was supposed to be one of my most fertile days according to all I know about the surge of ovulation, which isn’t much. But hey, if my doctor says that is when to go for it, then that is when I’m going for it.

I started thinking though, what if my body is different in this way too? Everyone is always saying to me that charting is phenomenal but they’re all able to have periods on their own. Me? Not so much. What if I can’t chart it according to how my doctor wants to chart my ovulation? What if I had already had my most fertile day on Thursday, which was the day I felt the most uncomfortable in my nether regions and the most… ready to rumble. I started to think that maybe I needed to investigate the innermost workings of my baby-making area a little bit further. Because, really, what if I was doing all this babymaking for nothing? I mean, sometimes a girl just doesn’t want to go there. Even me, and I almost always want to go there.

So I went out yesterday and purchased a few things to help me understand it a little better. One of these things was an ovulation kit (Answer One-Step Ovulation Kit), which I had never before used and didn’t know what to expect. I paid about $20 for it, so all in all, it wasn’t that much of an investment when it comes to checking my fertility. Last night I decided to break the kit open because I was in the middle of the 7-day window in which I had been instructed by a medical professional to engage in babymaking. (So romantic. Thanks to my OBGYN for this grand improvement to my love life.) Quickly, I peed 6 drops in the cup (nervous I guess) and broke open a test stick to see if I could understand it all more.

Here’s what I learned.

Peeing in a cup is not fun. Any test that makes you do this is ridiculous and should be avoided.

Reading the instructions before you do anything is pretty important.

Once you open the test strip vial, you have to use them all in 30 days so says the instruction leaflet. If you remove a test strip, you have to use it immediately. Along that same line, it says that it’s really important to close the cap to the vial of test strips also immediately after obtaining a test strip. Um… Why the urgency in protecting the test strips from air? Will they disintegrate if exposed to air? How does air make a test strip less effective? I don’t get this, but I wish I would have read the directions first because now I feel like I have to test myself for the next 30 days just to get my money’s worth.

I am pretty sure ovulation kits are crap. The first one I peed on said I wasn’t at my most fertile but there was still a line which meant that I am ovulating. And because I didn’t have enough urine in the first test, I figured I’d try again with a second test before bed and guess what? The test line was barely visible at all. So did I stop ovulating all at once or does my LH surge drop at night time? (What a bummer because that is when most of the magic happens.)

You’re supposed to start using an ovulation kit the day after your period. Oops. Again, I wish I would have read the instructions.

Basically I wasted $20.

Today I read this online: The Answer Quick & Simple One-Step Ovulation Test ($16.89/5 tests) was at the bottom of the list, with an overall rating of “Poor” (the only test that received a “poor” for LH sensitivity, and without a protective cap, it can be messy to use).

Great.

Also? The same site reports that “Consumer Reports advises, “The first thing to consider is whether you need an ovulation test kit at all, since the overwhelming majority of women of childbearing age ovulate reliably and have a six-day fertile period every cycle. Most couples are better off just having regular intercourse on their own schedule.””

Next time, I will research this better.

Infertility is so un-fun.

***

In other news, I’ve lost 12 lbs since Christmas, which is really good considering I haven’t tried.

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