Posted by: angelnorman | October 21, 2009

etiquette schmetiquette.

last night, nicholas gave me a guest list for his party as we were going to bed. not surprisingly, he named his 5 favorite friends and one of their siblings. of course, these kids would be invited, as they are every year. “and who else?” i asked.

“no one else,” he answered.

part of me is overjoyed at the small guest list but another part, a larger part, feels torn on what is appropriate to do in this situation.  nicholas is invited to birthday party after birthday party every single month, and even though we cannot attend them all, we still appreciate the invite. and there are kids i want to invite that nick didn’t include in his list o’ invitees, so what do i do about that? force these kids on him?

mike says no, i should not force nicholas to spend his birthday with anyone but the friends he chooses; i should go by nick’s guest list and thank my lucky stars that he doesn’t want a large crowd since we really can’t afford a huge party this year. and a part of me is thinking he is so right. but then again, this is a big birthday… and i feel like a small party of just friends, no family is kind of… lame.

some etiquette sites i’ve looked at say that if one kid from a team or class or group is invited, you should invite all the kids from that team, class, or group. i cannot imagine this. all? that is ludicrous in my opinion. i think about the mom’s group i’m in, and nick barely knows half of those kids. there is no way that i would invite everyone; that’s like 20 kids right there. but then where is the line drawn? i’m not sure. other sites say that hosting more kids than you can handle is worse than not inviting everyone… and i suppose that’s logical. 

it’s essentially what mike’s saying, only he’s also saying, “so… you want to pay hundreds of dollars extra just so feelings won’t be hurt? c’mon, angel!”


(and it’s not hundreds of dollars. but essentially, yes. i do worry about feelings being hurt. and he doesn’t worry about this because he’s a dude and therefore he doesn’t even care about the party at all, by default.)

my point is that i’m really thinking too much about this. i wonder what other parents do. my friends are 50/50- some invite everyone, some invite a select few.

okay. so for now, i’m not planning the guest list. i’m working on other things like cake. decor. foam swords and shields.  yes. avoidance is always a good plan.



  1. Birthday invite crap is so stupid. And no matter how every year I want to say “invite who you want. Momss will understand.” You know how those stupid thoughts go. But, the only thing I came on here to really say was that if you are going with a “sleepover” idea, it may not be a bad idea to shorten the guest list back from having 25 kids stay the night. LOL
    P.S. Please have trains!!!

  2. Trains are soooo overdone. Ha. And I don’t think we really have the right setup for a sleepover just yet. If we had a bigger living room, maybe I’d be more apt to doing something like that, and if we didn’t have dogs who lived in the house and/or a puppy that could hold his pee in… maybe then 🙂

    I really only want to add a few kids- like maybe 6 more than the list he gave me. I wish I could afford the large jumper’s playhouse party then I wouldn’t have to worry about anything and just invite the whole world!

  3. WE are happy to be invited. I always invite who they want PLUS the people that I want them to grow up being friends with. It is a sneaky way to create lifelong friends for your kid. LOL!

  4. Yes. I like forcing friendships too. I want Nick to only be surrounded by good, normal kids. I know that sounds bad, but I kind of don’t care. 😀

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