Posted by: angelnorman | October 26, 2009

thirty.

my pal ashley’s husband asked me the other night how i felt about turning 30. i said i was looking forward to it, and i wasn’t lying. i know it’s supposed to be this huge milestone sort of thing that makes me freak out about aging, but for me, it’s not that big of a deal. maybe it sounds weird but i’ve felt “old” for years. much older than my actual age at times. i’ve lived through a whole decade of being married, having health issues, having a kid with health issues, losing a “baby” (or an egg or whatever), having been through more than some people ever even experience in a lifetime. my 20s were wrought with pain as it were, with the deaths of so many i loved. i lost my step-grandmother (Nanny Tune), a grandmother (Granny), an aunt, an uncle, two great uncles, a great-great aunt, a “grandfather” (if he even was my grandfather), a step-grandmother (see previous), and a great grandmother. i’ve battled depression the entire decade, i’ve worried and been anxious, and i’ve had a headache since 2002. 😉

it was hard to see the silver lining on the clouds that hung overhead in my 20s. really hard. just as soon as i thought things were looking up, someone i loved would die (like when I finally got pregnant with Nicholas and then Granny died two months later), or my kid would get sick (like last August, when he needed another surgery), or I would be depressed or lonely or something. it was just not cool.

but i’ve had a great time in these last few years as a mom (so much so that it has made my early twenties hard to even remember– who was i before i had a kid? and why did i waste so much time not living my life to the fullest every single day?), and every year, my life just keeps getting better. so why would i look at another year as anything but wonderful? why would i look at 30 and the next decade of my life and moan about the loss of a decade that i had such a hard time living through? it makes no sense to regret aging, IMO. the older i get, the more comfortable in my skin i become. the more comfortable in this life i am!

i feel accomplished! i have done so much loving and living already in this life that i could do nothing else but this the rest of my life and probably have zero regrets on my deathbed. it helps that i made a list when i was 28 of “thirty things to do before thirty”.  and i did most of them. yes. i really did make a list like that. (moma: a “bucket list” if you will :)). i will share it with you only if you promise not to make fun of me for making such a list in the first place. promise? okay, here it is.

1. Paint a room in my house. (Done. Hello, painted bathrooms and semi-painted kitchen.)
2. Grow herbs indoors. (Done. It was an epic failure, but I tried.)
3.  Plant a vegetable garden.
4. Exercise more. (Done, thanks to Wii Fit.)
5. Eat healthier and teach Nick healthier eating habits. (Half done. Nick knows that fruit snacks have “too much sugar” and that McD’s makes you fat. I win.)
6. Knit things. (Done. Winner.)
7. Write more on “Letters to My Son” (Done. It’s a book I’m working on for Nick. I write in it all the time.)
8. Watch way less TV. (Done. I watch TV twice a week now… for several hours at a time, sure, but it’s a start.)
9. Drink more water. (Done.)
10. Get outdoors more often. (Done. See, smoking helps. J/K. I do more than smoke outside now, thanks.)
11. Work on Nick’s scrapbook. (Done.)
12. Register to vote. And actually vote. (Done.)
13. Buy new flooring. (I bought a single tile. Half done.)
14. Learn to speak Italian. (Fail.)
15. Call grandparents more. (Also fail, but I have seen them more recently than I did in my early 20s!)
16. Watch the sunset more often. (Done.)
17. See a new city. (Done. I shall not name the city I saw that was new to me because I’m angry at it. However, my best friend lives there now, if that helps.)
18. Clean my house more. (Done. I really try.)
19. Organize my craft closet. (Done… for a week.)
20. Create a cookbook for future kids and grandkids. (Not done.)
21. Craft more. (Done.)
22. Be an engaged parent. (Done.)
23. Be a better wife. (Done. Shut it, Mike.)
24. Be a better daughter. (Done. Shut it, parents.)
25. Spend as much time with my family as possible. (Done.)
26. Make some new friends, reconnect with old ones. (Done.)
27. Do something new every month. (Sort of done. We have done lots of things.)
28. Reduce credit card bills by half. (Credit cards reduced, but we racked up more debt when we bought a car and sent Mike back to school.)
29. Get rid of clothes I no longer wear. Donate to chairty. (Done.)
30. Live every day like it’s my last. Be closer to God with every passing day. (Done.)

see? i am accomplished. and can you imagine how much more i’ll be productive this next year as a comfortable-in-her-skin 30 year old?! i can hardly wait.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Great list, I need to do most of those things. Do I count as a new friend? 🙂

  2. Thirties are better than your twenties. Swear to God.

  3. Of course, Ashley!

    Dusty: So I’ve heard. I’m hoping that’s true for everyone.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: