Posted by: angelnorman | November 5, 2009

my day

mike came into the bedroom around lunchtime and found me curled up in the fetal position and taking up most of the bed. “what is going on here?” he demanded. “what do you think you’re doing? who told you you could sleep?”

he was, of course, aggravating me, but on a day like today, that’s really a huge mistake on his part.

“i’m cramping!” i shouted, not moving out of the only position i can lay in without my back feeling as though it might stiffen up and then break. “and i’m starving! and i’m bleeding! and i’m really hating all male life forms at this time.”

he walked back out of the room as quickly as he had come in, so quickly in fact that i don’t think he heard me add, “except for nick! and jesus.”

and that, my friends, is what my day is like today. i figure women are entitled to two or three or seven days a month where they’re completely irrational, so i’m seizing that opportunity for myself this afternoon. i had a little nap already, but i want nothing more right now than to go curl back into my bed and lay there until i die. or until the cramping stops, if ever.

***

nick: but i have to grow up, mommy. i have to be a daddy one day.
me: when will you be a daddy?
nick: when i’m 1-2-3- (counts as high as he can till he reaches 20.) 20! when i’m 20!
me: 20 is too young. try 25.
nick: okay.
me: who will you marry?
nick: no one.
me: boys can’t be daddies without mommies. (well… you know.)
nick: but i don’t like girls. they’re gross.
me: okay, okay. where do you think you’ll work when you’re a daddy?
nick: (without skipping a beat) super target!
me: oh, nice.
nick: do you know why the call it super target?
me: why?
nick: because it has super stuff.

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