Posted by: angelnorman | April 26, 2010

early 20s

This is me, in my early 20’s, a little less than 5 years pre-Nicholas. Mike and I were heading to Chattanooga to spend time with my cousins David and Charlene and their daughter Tori. See how long my hair was? Dark auburn except in the sun, of course. Notice how much younger I look? No grays, no weird forehead wrinkle.

I saw this picture while smoking in my garage the other day. (Hello early aging.) It was framed and lying on the garage floor with a stack of other pictures that used to adorn that hideous entertainment center my friend Ashlee and I tore down. When I saw it, I couldn’t help but stare. I look, in my opinion, nothing like the girl in the photo anymore. I am older, yes, and that does happen, but I feel a million years older than that girl, all worried about nothing except for her road trip to Chattanooga and trying to get the best angle of herself, in the car, with her non-digital camera. I’ve been through too much to not feel that way, I guess.

Michelle and I were talking the other day and she was jokingly trying to get me to come work with her. Michelle works for Fed Ex Office (formerly Kinko’s), and while I’ve done the job before (I worked there for a year before the picture above was taken, back when it was Kinko’s though), I told her it would be a terrible idea for me to go into any customer service, because the first person to complain to me that their order wasn’t right or that they needed something from me at that exact moment would get an earful about how their “worries” didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Or about how their product didn’t help people so why should I care if they get their 100 booklets completed before the meeting or not. Again, I’ve been through too much of LIFE to feel like those small things matter. I find it very difficult to relate to people who care about things that I care nothing about, even though I’ve always been a little proud of how well I could empathize with the plight of others, how gracefully I could show that I am willing to help my fellow man.

I’ve changed a little, see. It happens. I’m not so graceful anymore. 🙂

But somewhere inside of me, I’m still the same. I still feel young some days. I feel thin. I feel pretty and non-gray and unwrinkled. I’m still trying to look cute while taking pictures of myself. I’m still trying to figure out exactly how to wear my fine, thin hair. I’m still deeply in love with one Mr. Michael Norman. And I still love Chattanooga with an overly exaggerated chunk of my heart.

And I don’t really have a point with this blog except to say that I sort of miss feeling cute and young and hopeful. And those sunglasses. I miss those sunglasses the most.

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